Where's The Easy Button?

These past few months have been very hard. My health continued to get progressively worse, we were losing a lot of business and were still unable to pay ourselves a regular income all this year, and my poor husband just could not get a break from all the stress and responsibility of running a struggling business, being a caregiver to his wife, and basically taking care of everything that needs done to run a household. On top of all my other health problems, my doctors decided that I have a serious liver disease that was affecting my heart and would apparently eventually kill me. The worst part was that my husband and I were dealing with all of this alone. Despite moving our church membership to a church closer to home, we had not been able to connect with anyone in the church and still had no support system in dealing with all of this. We were burned out, stressed out, and just plain out of ideas on where to turn or what to do. And all I kept thinking about in my mind was, "We really need one of those 'Easy Buttons'!" You know: the ones from the office supply store commercial where you just press that big red Easy Button and help rains down upon you from the sky.

I felt like my husband I and were literally on fire in the middle of a crowd, and that we were jumping up and down hollering for help while everyone in the crowd just walked on by, talking and laughing and going about their business. We just felt like everything was falling apart and no help was in sight. I know that everyone deals with problems and struggles in life, but we were constantly being hit with one after the other. And then my health status went from "deteriorating" to "crisis" mode with the latest news about my liver and heart. And we knew something had to change drastically. So I made an executive decision that I was gonna get off as many pharmaceuticals as possible in order to give my liver a break, fire all my doctors except for my primary and my narcolepsy specialist, and I was going to detox my body and really focus on putting natural, healthy things in.

This type of program takes a lot of time, a lot of money, a lot of support and help, and a lot of energy. I certainly had the time, but none of the other things. And the way I was eating, which was the most important part of my "treamtent" (Phase One antifungal diet from knowthecause.com) required that almost everything be made "from scratch. That means nothing that comes in a can, a bottle, a package, or from a restaurant. I'm talking about the kind of cooking where you have to use every kitchen appliance, utensil, pot, and pan you own just to make one meal. I didn't mind the restrictions on eating so much, but I was literally to the point where I could barely stand up for more than a couple minutes at a time. There were times when I would start to black out whenever I stood up and I barely had enough strength to walk 10 feet. There were a few occasions where I barely made it into the kitchen, so weak and shaky that I had to just lie down on the kitchen floor for 15-20 minutes until I could get what I came in there for. And if I could muster the strength to prepare myself some kind of food, there was NO WAY I could clean up the mess I had made. So I would just have to leave it. Me. Leave a mess.

After coming home finding me lying on the floor, not having eaten or drank anything all day, my husband realized we couldn't do this all by ourselves anymore. So he asked my dad to drive 20 hours down from Michigan to take me up there for a few weeks so that my parents could help out. So I packed bags, boxes, and coolers full of food; all kinds of kitchen appliances and utensils; our puppy, his food, his kennel and other paraphernalia; and enough clothes and stuff to last a month. We had no idea when I would be able to come back home. And it was a tearful, anxious goodbye.

To Be Continued...

Waiting

John Waller - While I'm Waiting (Official Music Video) from Provident Label Group on Vimeo.

Waiting is never easy. I remember how difficult it was to wait when my husband and I were dating. For 18 months of our four-year courtship we lived apart and had to rely on telephone calls and letters, not emails, to communicate with each other. We literally wrote letters almost every single day and spoke on the phone a few times every week. In the days before cell phones and unlimited long distance plans, it got very expensive to have lengthy phone coversations, and my husband would easily pay $200-$300 each month in phone bills. Waiting for the mail to come or for the day of our next scheduled phone call to finally arrive would seem excrutiating.

We didn't see each other very often during those 18 months, so a face-to-face meeting was a very precious experience to us. My husband had a client that worked for an airline, and that client would sell him "buddy passes" which allowed airline employees and their friends and family to fly stand-by on flights for a small fraction of the cost of an airline ticket. When he told me that he had gotten a pass, we would count down the days, hours, and minutes until the day came when we could be together. That time of waiting would seem to drag on forever, but we waited with eager anticipation for the moment we would be reunited.

Although the wait was difficult, our love and faith in each other kept us going during those long days apart. People would often make remarks to us about how long-distance relationships rarely work out, how couples drift apart when they don't spend time together regularly, and how our hearts would stray as we met other attractive people who could be more present in our lives. But what these naysayers didn't realize was that our relationship had already been tested in ways many people don't experience even after years of marriage. We had faith in the love, loyalty, and commitment that had been forged through life's difficult challenges, and we knew that in the end, the wait would be worth it.

I've been on a quest for over 16 years to discover the cause of numerous health issues that have grown exponentially in both severity and frequency. I have been to more doctors and hospitals, had more tests, procedures, and surgeries, and done more research on medical issues than I could ever count. Since the fall of 2007, my search became much more intense and desperate as my health condition swiftly declined, and I began to pray for God's wisdom and for Him to show me "great and mighty things that [I] do not know (Jeremiah 33.3)." And I believe that my prayers have been rewarded with God's leading toward a completely different philosophy in treatment and diagnosis as it relates to my Hashimoto's thyroid disease. I was even able to find a doctor in my area who specializes in this treatment and is a provider in my health insurance network. However, the first available appointment is not until June 10th. When you've been ill for so long and you feel you're on the cusp of a major breakthrough, a month is a LONG time to wait! And I first became really irritated that I came this far and was now forced to wait some more. Then God spoke to me in my heart and said, "I've been with you and have brought you this far; can you not trust my timing? I know how long the wait has been because I've waited with you. Just wait on Me, and continue to worship Me while you wait.

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning." -Psalm 130:5,6