A New Normal
Originally Posted Monday, September 8, 2008
I guess you could call me a perfectionist, but most refer to me half-jokingly (I think) as a control-freak or say I have OCD. I have just always given 110% in everything I've done. It has been very challenging for me to have to learn to let go of things over the past few years due to my chronic health issues. I have really had to let go of my pride and my concern for how people view me, especially since I am one of the millions of Americans who lives with an invisible illness. I am sure that I appear to most people to be a healthy person, but what they don't realize is that I have been living with chronic illness for over 15 years. I have a neurological sleep disorder called narcolepsy, and it is accompanied by something called cataplexy, a debilitating loss of muscle tone that happens at random, often in response to strong emotions like anger, embarrassment, excitement, anxiety, etc. Because of this disease, I have had to change my life to accomodate my "new normal." Instead of allowing the disease to make me a prisoner, I have chosen to find ways to live more simply and with less stress.
1. We try to have people over to our house, rather than going to theirs. This allows me to be more comfortable in case I need to lie down, take some medicine, or adjust the temperature. It also keeps me from being isolated from people, because it would be easy to just decline all social invitations and be a loner. But we all need human interaction to maintain our emotional health.
2. We hired someone to clean our house. This was a very difficult thing for me to do because taking care of the house is my responsiblity since I do not work outside the home. As people with chronic illness know, it's important to us to feel needed and useful, but we also have to admit when we need help. Having the house thoroughly cleaned every other week eliminates a lot of stress and pressure from me to do things when I really need to be resting. It also makes me feel more inclined to invite people over, since I don't have to worry as much about how the house looks.
3. I changed the way we prepare food. Eating healthy is very important, especially since my husband is a diabetic and I have several health issues. Since my husband often gets home very late from work and often doesn't have the energy to prepare meals when I am unable, it's important we use shortcuts. We buy bagged salads, pre-cooked meats we just have to heat for a few minutes, instant whole-grain rices, and frozen vegetables. There are always things available we can make in minutes if I'm having a tough day.
4. I buy paper products. I couldn't keep up with the dishes, so we began eating dinner on paper plates, eating cereal out of paper bowls, and drinking out of disposable cups. It has saved me so much work, it's unbelievable.
5. I order my prescriptions through the mail. Since I am unable to drive, this saves my husband from having to drive to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine. It also saves money to buy a 90-day supply of drugs.
6. We joined Netflix. We like to watch movies at home together, especially if I'm not up to going out. But we'd always forget or get too busy to return the movies. Now we just drop them in our mailbox, and another shows up in a day or two. It's great!
7. We bought some new cleaning supplies. Even before we had a cleaning service, I realized I needed some short-cuts to help me get and keep things clean. I bought a Swiffer vacuum, those Kaboom kits for the toilet tank, a Swiffer WetJet mop, Clorox wipes, disposable toilet scrubbers, and disposable shower cleaning pads for the tubs and showers. These are all really good time-savers and also make cleaning easier so it doesn't take as much energy. I still use these things to tidy up in-between house cleanings.
8. I changed the way I take care of myself. It's important to me that I look my best, even if I don't feel my best. But there are many days when I don't have a lot of energy to put in a lot of effort on hair and makeup. So I simplified my hairstyle so I can just wash-n-wear. I wear it up in a clip a lot too...less work but it looks really nice. I just wear powder foundation, mascara, and lip gloss for everyday. It only takes 2-3 minutes, but it makes a big difference.
9. I got organized. I used times when I was feeling better and had more energy to organize different areas of the house. This helped me to be more efficient at doing tasks and also made it easier for me to allow others to help, since everything was in its place and easy to find. For example, I organized the pantry into categories, like a mini grocery store. It's easier to find things when you are cooking or when you're taking inventory for a shopping list. I organized the kitchen so that what you need can be found right where you would use it. The glasses are by the fridge, the cereal bowls are next to the pantry, the pot holders are next to the stove, the cutting boards and strainers are under the island, etc. This also makes it easier for family members and guests to find their way around if you're not available to help. I also bought a lot of small plastic bins and baskets to organize things like first aid products, lightbulbs and batteries, and items for the dogs and cats.
10. We bought some things for R&R that we can do right here at home. We have the Wii game system so we can do active things like play sports. We have a swimming pool which is great for low-impact exercise for me and fun for everyone else. We have a golf-cart for our 11.5 acres so I can ride around when I'm not up to walking. We just invested in some of this stuff because we need to spend time together as a family and enjoy activities in a way that everyone can participate despite my health issues. There are many more things, but you get the idea. We have had to make some life changes and even some personality changes because of illness. But we can still enjoy life and family and friends...we just had to learn to simplify and recognize that we can have "normal"...a "new normal."
