Setbacks

People with chronic illness know this well: Just when you think you've got a handle on one aspect of your illness, another crops up to throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing. I've recently had a setback with my thyroid disease because I finally was able to convince my doctor to treat me for adrenal fatigue. It's common for people who have gone for years without a proper diagnosis of thyroid disease and/or those who were on a T4 only medication like Synthroid or Levoxyl to develop adrenal fatigue. I've known for years that my adrenals were causing me problems and contributing to my cataplexy, fatigue, and even excessive sweating. But convincing your doctor of that is another matter.

The new doctor at my primary doctor's practice is much more open to suggestions than other doctors I've seen, especially if you bring her some information to back up your theories. I had been trying to get my doctor to run my Reverse T3 for almost a year now, especially after I stopped losing weight on Armour and began having some hypothyroid symptoms again. This new doctor agreed to run it, and we quickly concluded that my body is not absorbing and utilizing the thyroid hormone that I'm taking, which is why I'm not losing weight, why I'm feeling so tired, why I get huge cracks in the heels of my feet, and why it makes perfect sense that my adrenals are failing too. I'm trying not to be annoyed that almost a year was wasted while my know-it-all doc ignored me, and focusing instead on feeling hopeful that this new doc is willing to treat my adrenals with hydrocortisone (HC).

But it's not easy treating the adrenals, let me tell you. For one thing, we're both at the mercy of piece-meal information. The 1st edition of the Stop the Thyroid Madness (STTM) book says to gradually increase your HC up to the proper dosage. But that would give me these incredibly sickening adrenalin rushes, kind of like the feeling you get after you've run a mile as fast as you can. So I asked people on the STTM Facebook page, and the author told me there had been a revision to the book advising you to begin at the full dose right away to avoid the adrenalin rushes. Ugh. So I started over again.

Then my Armour started making me sick. I would get these horrible gut-wrenching stomach pains, along with severe nausea right after I took my Armour. That's when I was advised to cut back on my thyroid meds. So now I feel terrible because I'm on the wrong dose of Armour. I started having one of the worst hypothyroid symptoms that I haven't experienced in almost two years: digestive issues. That's a polite way of saying that I have to run to the bathroom at a moment's notice. So now I'm carrying ginger root capsules around with me 24/7 like the pre-Armour days. I was told swallowing my HC with apple cider vinegar would help cut down on the stomach issues. Nope. The last time I tried that, I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut; and it felt like that ALL DAY LONG. I'll just stick with the ginger root, thank you.

To make a long story long-ish, I'm feeling a little frustrated and discouraged right now because I've essentially had to make myself feel sick in order to make myself feel better. I'm sure that makes sense in some realm of reality, but right now it just ticks me off. I have the energy of a slug and the personality of a porcupine being poked with a stick. So I just keep muttering this mantra under my breath: "A setback is a setup for a comeback. A setback is a setup for a comeback." Now where are those ginger capsules...

Unexpected Worship

When we think of worship, what usually comes to mind is a church service or singing in a church service. But there are many ways to worship God. I love to worship God by spending time looking at all the beautiful things He has created - the stars that shine so brightly in the sky at our house in the country, the birds that flock to our birdhouses or come to pick off the fish from our pond, and the beautiful plants and flowers that grow all around our property. Music is also a big part of worship for me. Often a song has the unique power to touch my spirit and bring me to a place of worship where God can speak just the right Words to me. But until I attended Freedom Fest at Trinity the other night, I had never before experienced worship through fireworks.

I'll admit it: I really didn't want to go to the festival. I mean, I can see the appeal for most people. There are TONS of attractions to ride and see, LOTS of food vendors, a live jazz/swing band, and of course, the fireworks show. But when you have trouble walking because of cataplexy, your health condition and medications give you an intolerance for heat, and you're doing your best to stay off carbs, a 5-hour festival on Trinity's large campus in the Florida sun and humidity amid a crowd of people eating ice cream is not the most comfortable place to be. I did ride my motorized chair which helped with the walking, and my husband set me up with a golf umbrella to keep out of the sun (I was already sunburned from 2 1/2 hours in the pool the day before), but I was absolutely sweltering. Also, having that big umbrella over me didn't exactly make me very approachable for people to talk to or even see who I was. It was nice to catch up with my mother-in-law and my husband's grandmother and also a few friends from Trinity that found me for a chat. But after a few hours, I was beat. I didn't want to ruin it for anyone else by leaving before the show, so when my husband suggested I sit out in the air-conditioned truck until the fireworks started, I thought that idea was very appealing.

When he came back to get me, I was sitting in a truck with steam-covered windows, pumping the A/C and listening to the radio. I had dried off, cooled off, re-fixed my hair, and had gotten a chance to recharge my battery from the effort it takes to just be around people and stay upbeat and friendly. When I opened the door to step outside I realized that although the sun had gone down, you could almost cut the humidity with a knife. I wasn't looking forward to being out in that again and almost told my husband to go ahead without me. But I went. After a somewhat unusual version of our national anthem was sung, the fireworks began exploding in synch with some very powerful Christian music selections. As I gazed up at the breathtaking array with Jeremy Camp's "There Will Be a Day" playing in the background, my heart swelled with love for a God Whose beauty and majesty far surpasses even that magnificent presentation. Everything inside me just wanted to stand up, lift my hands toward heaven and shout praise to Him! And through my tears of exhilarating joy I smiled to myself and to my King for allowing me to experience worship in such an unexpected way.