Waiting for Morning

by Karen Kingsbury
A Book Review

" Great is Thy Faithfulness" was Hannah Ryan's favorite hymn. Having experienced a carefree life where she married her childhood sweetheart and raised two beautiful girls in a comfortable lifestyle, it was easy to believe God was faithful. But when a drunk driver killed her husband and oldest daughter, she turned away from God and made revenge against that driver her life's purpose. Entrenched in bitterness and anger, she even ignored her surviving daughter Jenny who is struggling with her grief and desires to take her own life. But God continued to pursue Hannah through a MADD activist, the prosecutor in the drunk driving case, and a final message from her dying husband.

This story is painful to read not only because of the tragic circumstances, but also because of Hannah's attitude toward her young daughter Jenny, whom she ignores and whose pain she actually taunts. I find it difficult to believe any mother who just lost her other daughter and her husband would be so callous. But then again, it's hard to know how you would react until you are faced with the unthinkable. I identified with Hannah's struggle to forgive Brian Wesley, the man who robbed her of her family, and her feeling of betrayal toward her MADD friend Carol who secretly befriends Brian. I was also relieved to discover an authentic story where Christians aren't miraculously spared from tragedy or immediately react with thankfulness when it strikes their lives. It's real and it's raw, and it's classic Kingsbury. Buy Book 1 in the "Forever Faithful" series here.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Healing Words

"The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." -Proverbs 12:18

Yesterday I had a great conversation with a health and fitness coach with whom I recently started working. Not only did she give me some great ideas to work toward my personal goals, but I also found myself leaving the conversation with a lot more hope than I've felt in a long time. It's interesting I should be so hopeful because I'm really having a tough time physically right now. And we also spent a fair amount of time discussing my past history of chronic illness, a topic that usually drains me and makes me sad. Instead, she was able to focus on the accomplishments I've made in the past two years toward a healthier me.

I later realized my coach did a simple yet powerful thing: she used her words to bring healing. Healing to my spirit and even to my body. After we spoke I was more inspired to remain on the path of a healthy lifestyle, and I was so energized by hope that I went ahead and started my new exercise program that I've been putting off for months because I didn't feel well enough to try. Which, in turn, inspired me to eat healthy and work out again today. And maybe I'm imagining things, but my current flaring health symptoms seem to be better too.

Recently I've had a lot of reckless words spoken into my life and my health situation. Well-meaning family members, friends, and doctors have said things that to some degree, robbed me of hope, faith, and joy. It's been a fierce battle in my heart to fight off the constant barrage of negativity their words created. What a contrast with my experience yesterday!

This is a great lesson for all of us. Before we share that "helpful" idea or something "the Lord laid on our heart" that our loved one "needs" to hear, let's ask ourselves if we are planting seeds of hope and healing or if we are truly piercing them with the sword of our reckless words.


"Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips." -Psalm 141:3

Hearing Voices

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:5

I spent two hours this morning listening to The Voices. Don't call the men in the white coats! It happens to all of us sometimes: we hear the replays of something hurtful that was said - something that cut us to our very soul. We feel rejected, ashamed, worthless. But then I heard another Voice speaking Truth and Love into my heart...

"I CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH YOU FOR AWHILE."
"I will never leave you or forsake you." -Hebrews 13:5

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO YOU OR BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU'RE SO NEGATIVE."
"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." -Psalm 56:8

"SOME OF US DON'T GET TO SLEEP IN UNTIL 10AM EVERY DAY OR LIE DOWN AND REST WHENEVER WE WANT."
"...for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." -Psalm 103:14

"I'M TIRED AND DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW."
"You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You perceive my thoughts from afar. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely." -Psalm 139:1-4

"NOW'S NOT REALLY A GOOD TIME TO VISIT; THERE'S JUST A LOT GOING ON."
"Whoever comes to me I will never drive away."
-John 6:37

"YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING ALL DAY. YOU DON'T CONTRIBUTE."
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

"IT WAS NICE TALKING TO YOU, BUT I WANT TO GO SAY 'HELLO' TO SOMEONE [more interesting]."
"The Lord your God...will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17

"EVERYONE'S BAILING ON YOU RIGHT NOW, AREN'T THEY?"
"I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God." -Isaiah 41:9-10

"OH? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HERE IN SUNDAY SCHOOL FOR 5 WEEKS?"
"You know when I sit and when I rise. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?" -Psalm 139:2,7

"Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will learn to listen and believe the Voice of Truth." -Casting Crowns

These Four Walls

I'm only 34 years old, so people probably don't think of me as a "shut-in." When I was growing up, that's what we used to call old people who couldn't get out of the house. But that pretty much describes me. I can't drive and can't leave the house, even for a walk, without having someone with me. Want to know what it's like? In a word, lonely.

It puts a real damper on your social life when you can't just pick up the phone and call a girlfriend to meet you for lunch. To be honest, I'm afraid to make new friends because I've been rejected so many times by people who don't want to deal with the high-maintenance friend that requires a wheelchair, medication, and an instruction manual to go anywhere. So my friends are people I talk to on the phone or chat with online. Virtual people, really.

I try to stay in touch with the world through the internet, books, and TV. And the highlight of my day is when my husband comes home from work because I get to see a real live human being. Sometimes I even get to have a conversation with him if he's not too tired from being among Real People all day. Once in a while he'll call me on the way home and ask if I want to go out to dinner. If it's a pretty good day I'll take a shower, put on clothing one would wear in public, and do my hair and makeup. Then I get to pretend for about an hour that I'm a normal person doing normal things.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like the world has forgotten about me. That I don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. So I look for little ways that I can make a difference from inside my four walls. Things like writing this blog, sharing info on social networking sites, and singing once a week in my church choir with all my heart and voice. The rest of the time I fight those feelings of loneliness and desperation by listening closely for the voice of the One who knows me best and loves me most. I am His Treasure, and I am precious in His eyes.

The Cause Within You

A Book Review


For those of us who have always been taught that God has a plan and a purpose for each of us, often the next question is "But what is it?" If this is something you've been asking yourself or if you already know your purpose but just don't where to begin, this book is probably for you. Author Matthew Barnett shares his personal story about founding a non-profit outreach called the Dream Center to minister to some of the most desperately hopeless people in Los Angeles, CA. Through sharing his journey and those of the many volunteers who have shared in his cause, he gives practical methods for finding the cause you were created for, rolling up your sleeves, and allowing God to bless your efforts.

It's difficult not to be inspired by Barnett and his team when reading about the lives that are changed through this ministry and the believers who are actually out in the world putting "feet to their faith." I think we all have a hunger to do something that really matters instead of just living a mundane, superficial life day after day. The way Barnett was able to translate his experiences, whether failures or successes, into practical applications for others makes this much more than an autobiography. It's also a challenge for each of us to find our personal cause and begin living it now or to join someone else's until we do.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale House Publishers as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The Day the Music Lived

"Sometimes the world tries to knock it out of you, but I believe in music the way some people believe in fairy tales."
-August Rush



I don't know when the music died in my heart.

Maybe it died a little bit the first time someone told me my music was "too contemporary for church."

Maybe it was when a "well-meaning Christian" told me that I shouldn't sing about faith until mine was stronger.

Perhaps I believed the lies of the Enemy that I was too flawed, too damaged, to share my songs of faith with others.

Could it be that I was told too many times that I needed to take some time off from music because of chronic illness?

It's possible that the loneliness of being housebound day after day, feeling forgotten by the world, began to eat away at the music.

Did I let the fear that my illnesses would be a distraction to the worship of others cause my lips to be still, my voice to be hushed?

But I am a worshiper. I have the heart of a worshiper. With all my faults, my weaknesses, and my failures, God has gifted me to praise Him and lead others to praise Him. I will keep silent no longer. I will not let the rocks cry out in praise to God in my place.

There is a silent place in my corner of the world that needs to be filled with the sounds of uninhibited, reckless worship to my Savior. And I will use my voice.

"I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live." -Psalm 104:33

Guest Post - Deanna's Story

I am honored today to do a guest post for fellow- spoonie Ashley on her blog Searching for Health. Ashley resides in beautiful British Columbia with her husband and 2 dogs. She was diagnosed with juvenile hypothyroidism at the age of eight and then re-diagnosed with a thyroid conversion problem at the age of thirteen. In 2008 she was finally given a proper name for her illness; she is hypothyroid with partial peripheral thyroid resistance. Searching for Health is Ashley's forum for sharing information on thyroid resistance and empowering individuals with chronic illness to live their healthiest life.

Ashley shares the stories of others on Mondays for a series she calls "My Story Mondays." You can read my story by clicking here:

Passing the Torch - A Tribute to Molly Mizerak

Molly Mizerak
8.18.1962 - 6.1.2011

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith..." -Heb 12:1-2

In just a few minutes, hundreds of people in the Loudoun County, VA area will gather at our former church to celebrate the life of Molly Mizerak, who entered her eternal home in Heaven this past Wednesday after a 3.5-month battle with an aggressive brain tumor. Since I cannot be there in person, I have decided to take a few minutes to remember what she meant in my life and how she has influenced me both in her life and her death.

1. Molly knew Jesus and His Spirit radiated through her. You couldn't be around her for very long without feeling like you were in God's presence. It was evident that she spent time with God and that she was filled with His Spirit. She was like a light in a dark room, and you just wanted to be around and soak in that light.

2. Molly studied the Bible and used the Word to minister to others. She taught me about the power of the Scriptures to overcome spiritual warfare and defeat the Enemy's attacks in my life. She encouraged me to participate in Bible studies when I was struggling with discouragement and depression in my life due to chronic illness, and she even went out and purchased the study books and brought them to me! She knew the power that the Bible had in people's lives.

3. Molly got involved in people's lives and didn't consider their moments of crisis to be an interruption, but an opportunity to share the love of Christ. I can remember calling Molly in the middle of the night to pray with me, share Scripture with me, and encourage me. She was the first one to show up at the hospital when I was admitted and the one bringing me to a prayer service for healing, like the men who carried the paralytic to Jesus. She didn't just talk about spiritual things - she lived them.

4. Molly worshiped with abandon and was sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading at all times. I can remember a clear change in the power of our worship services shortly after the Mizeraks came to our church. Molly always entered into worship with her whole heart, and it led others to a more open heart as well. She never hesitated to share a word about how God was working in her own life and had a very humble and loving way of admonishing others when it was needed.

5. Molly was real and authentic about her walk with God. She was very willing to share her own struggles with anxiety, unforgiveness, and spiritual warfare. She explained how God delivered her and how the Enemy continued to attack her in these areas. It was refreshing and encouraging to know that I was not alone and that someone who clearly loved God as much as Molly experienced her own spiritual battles too.

A few years ago when I was asked in a Bible study to name the 3 most influential people in my Christian walk; in addition to my parents and my youth pastor, I immediately thought of Molly. She influenced people wherever she went and used every day circumstances as moments to teach others. And her faith in the midst of these past few months as she struggled with her health was an example to me and countless others. We will only know in eternity how many people came to Christ or grew in the faith because of her story.

Since her death, reading and hearing the things that were said of her life is a true challenge to me to live my life in such a way that I would be able to leave a testimony of faithfulness for others to follow. Considering Molly's legacy, I am reminded of an old Steve Green song:

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

Molly has passed the torch of her testimony to so many of us left behind. As she cheers us on from heaven, I hope we will accept the challenge and live a life of faith that we learned from her remarkable journey.

The Day the Music Lived

"Sometimes the world tries to knock it out of you, but I believe in music the way some people believe in fairy tales."
-August Rush


I don't know when the music died in my heart.

Maybe it died a little bit the first time someone told me my music was "too contemporary for church."

Maybe it was when a "well-meaning Christian" told me that I shouldn't sing about faith until mine was stronger.

Perhaps I believed the lies of Enemy that I was too flawed, too damaged, to share my songs of faith with others.

Could it be that I was told too many times that I needed to take some time off from music because of chronic illness?

It's possible that the loneliness of being housebound day after day, feeling forgotten by the world, began to eat away at the music.

Did I let the fear that my illnesses would be a distraction to the worship of others cause my lips to be still, my voice to be hushed?

But I am a worshiper. I have the heart of a worshiper. With all my faults, my weaknesses, and my failures, God has gifted me to praise Him and lead others to praise Him. I will keep silent no longer. I will not let the rocks cry out in praise to God in my place.

There is a silent place in my corner of the world that needs to be filled with the sounds of uninhibited, reckless worship to my Savior. And I will keep quiet no longer.

"I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live." -Psalm 104:33

Chariots and Horses

Sometimes I forget just how much I lean on my husband. As a housebound person with multiple chronic illnesses, including narcolepsy with cataplexy , there are a lot of things I just can't do for myself. He is my caretaker, my closest friend, and the person who best understands my limitations. When he's not available to me, it's pretty scary. He's on a missions trip in another country right now, and I've been basically alone except for a person who comes to sit with me at night (lest I burn the house down or fail to wake up from my strong sleep medicine should it begin to burn down around me).

Recently he had a very scary, dire incident with his diabetes, and I had to call an ambulance. In addition to worrying about his life I remember thinking, "What am I going to do if something happens to him? Who's going to take care of ME?" Watching him deteriorate quickly from insulin shock right before my eyes was one of the scariest things I ever had to experience. I just kept praying, "Jesus, help me!" in pure desperation, over and over. Because he's such a strong person and focuses most of his energy on caring for ME, it's easy to forget that he has physical limitations too.

With his being gone this week, I've had a renewed sense of how much I depend on him not only for my physical needs, but also for emotional support for the struggles of life. I've had a couple of melt-downs, especially upon hearing that he's had some really rough times with minor insulin shock on the missions trip. My parents and my best friend, who are hundreds of miles away, have done their best to comfort and encourage me, but God began reminding me today that He is my rock, my shelter, my deliverer, my defender, and my refuge. Even when I'll all alone in the physical sense, He is here to hold me up.

I was struck by how important it was for ancient kings to have an arsenal of strong horses and the best chariots so that they could defend themselves in battle, much like our military today depends upon tanks, planes, and weapons for our defense. But King David wisely realized that he could not trust in any sword, or spear, or chariots, or horses to deliver him because the battle is the Lord's, and He is the one who would deliver them. It's so easy for me to see my husband as THE one who meets my needs, and I'm thankful to have someone like him in my life. But today God reassured me of His presence and that I only have to call on HIS name. Lord, help me to put my trust in You.

"Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; but we will remember the name of the LORD our God." -Psalm 20:7

Coming Back Stronger by Drew Brees: A Book Review

Who doesn't love a good comeback story? Add in football, and it's even better. Drew Brees, the quarterback of the Superbowl XLIV champion New Orleans Saints is no stranger to adversity. But all his life, when faced with adversity, he determined to make a strong comeback. Whether it was going through the divorce of his parents, fighting for a starting position on his high school football team, suffering an ACL injury that nearly ended his hopes for a college scholarship, or leading his Purdue team to the Rose Bowl, overcoming each of these hurdles now seems to be a foreshadowing of his NFL career. When a severe shoulder injury effectively ended his position as starting quarterback for the San Diego Chargers, and he found that most NFL teams considered his NFL career over as well, he refused to admit defeat. Instead, he found a home with a team and a city that needed a miraculous comeback as much as he did. And they both came back even stronger.

No matter what adversity you face in life, you cannot help but be inspired by the story of Drew Brees. His courage, faith, and determination to conquer life's challenges is both a testament to his character and an infusion of hope to anyone who's ever faced hardship and dared to mount a resurgence for victory.

Buy your copy of this amazing story here!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale House as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Life Without Limbs by Nick Vujicic: A Book Review

A few months ago, I saw this video about a man named Nick Vujicic. It's impossible to see this man, hear him speak, or learn about his story without feeling inspired. Born without any limbs, he has faced adversity that most of us could never understand, yet he travels the world to communicate to others the love of God and the message that their life has a purpose and can be lived without the limits we place on ourselves due to negative circumstances. Nick shares the joy that he has found by determining to live a "ridiculously good life" and using his struggles to encourage others to overcome obstacles and embrace life.

This is much more than a self-help book. This is a story of inspiration and courage. By sharing his own journey to accept that God did not make a mistake allowing him to be born without limbs and that he has an important message to share with the world, Nick Vujicic is a true example of what it means to live life to the fullest. His practical wisdom, humor, and raw transparency will encourage you to change your attitude about life, rise above your challenges, and find a way to ignite passion in others.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Predator by Terri Blackstock: A Book Review

"Riding my bike to Sinbad's. Dying for a soda, and Dad won't keep them in the house." That was 14-year-old Ella Carmichael's last Thought Bubble posted to the social network Grapevyne. But someone was watching - someone with sinister intentions - and took the opportunity to abduct, rape, and brutally murder the unsuspecting teen. Now her older sister Krista is taking on GrapeVyne and laying a trap for the killer, determined that no other young girls become his next victim. Despite the horrible pain of losing the baby sister she practically raised after their mother's death, Krista turns the tragedy into an opportunity to educate teens and young women about the dangers of posting personal information and current locations on social networking sites. In the process, she ends up working alongside the site's creator and CEO, both of them fighting for their lives as they seek to uncover a potential conspiracy or criminal activity originating with GrapeVyne's parent company and stay a step ahead of a killer.

Not only does Blackstock achieve another suspenseful story with a great surprise ending, but she really makes you stop to consider how our innocent comments on social networking sites can be used for malicious purposes by the wrong person. I want every young woman I care about to read this book and take to heart that particular message. This book will give you nightmares, which is the hallmark of a great thriller, and it will certainly leave you contemplating your own online activities. But it's also a story about using personal adversity to reach out to others, about healing in the midst of tragedy, and about the power of our faith and God's grace to carry us through our darkest trial.

View the book trailer and buy the book here

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Zondervan as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Unlocked by Karen Kingsbury: A Book Review

Holden Harris is an autistic, high school senior whose father has given up on his ever being normal again, leaving his mother to deal with the day-to-day struggles of parenting a special-needs child. While Holden's mom Tracy holds on to hope and prays for a miracle to release her son from the prison of his autism, he is reunited with his childhood best friend Ella Reynolds, the popular daughter of Tracy's one-time closest friend, who abandoned Tracy shortly after Holden's diagnosis. Through Ella's friendship and Holden's love for music, miracles begin to happen not only for Holden, but also for his parents, his high school, and Ella's family as well.

So many topics that hit close to home for me were touched on in this riveting story. Karen Kingsbury demonstrates so clearly how those of us with chronic illness and our caretakers are often abandoned by our loved ones -often out of fear or not knowing how to deal with the situation- both physically and emotionally, just when we need them most. And the way people ignore, tease, and treat Holden differently because of his illness is sadly typical of how our culture regards those of us with disabilities. But Tracy Harris' strength in the midst of adversity and her fragile faith and hope in God is nothing short of inspiring. Likewise, the courage and compassion of young Ella to reach out to Holden is a testament to the power of one to make a difference. Unlocked is truly another in a long list of Kingsbury's "Life-Changing Fiction."

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Zondervan as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

"Beautiful Things Happen When a Woman Trusts God" by Sheila Walsh

A Book Review

Fear: a tool used by the Enemy to keep us from God's purpose for our lives. That fear often paralyzes us, keeping us from having the courage to believe God has it all under control. But as Sheila Walsh shares the story of her own struggles with fear and the journey of several Bible characters who also had to overcome fear to come to a place of faith, we find that beautiful things do indeed happen when we begin to trust God.

I am not usually one who enjoys non-fiction books, but as someone with chronic illness who struggles daily with the subject of trusting God, I was inexplicably drawn to this topic. And I soon discovered God had some amazing lessons in store as Sheila shared her heart through these pages. I was captivated by how closely I identified with both Sheila and the biblical figures as they wrestled with their fear of being too broken for God to use, fear of allowing others to see their failures, or fear that they may have missed their chance in life to do something for God. I feel that anyone who reads this amazing book will come away knowing that, like Sheila, "all I have to offer anyone else is a life surrendered to Christ so that his beauty and grace shine through my brokenness" (p.15).

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Easy Button - The Conclusion

So, whatever happened with my search for the Easy Button? I'm sure you're dying to know "the rest of the story." I am too! I don't think there IS an end. But there's definitely a lesson in there somewhere. I've been praying for over a year now that God would "show me great and mighty things I do not know" in regard to my health, our business, and my marriage. If you've read previous posts, you know I have these "333" sightings all the time and use them to remind me of Jeremiah 33:3. Each time I see the triple 3's, I pray that request to God. The past 18 months have been very difficult and very uncomfortable. In my experience, if you keep trusting God through times like these, it usually results in God doing a great work in your life. But I'll admit it: I can be impatient. And God and I have had some pretty heated conversations over the past several months. I even asked HIM about the Easy Button. And here's what He told me:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

He kept giving me that passage, and I didn't get it at first. But then I changed my outlook and decided to trust that God had a purpose in all of this. I still don't know everything He has planned, but I started to see that he'd been answering my prayers all along. Without the recent seriousness of my health condition, I don't think I would have had the motivation to take charge of my health like I have. After just a few months, I have seen amazing improvements in my body. I believe there are better days ahead. When we moved from our beautiful home, I was hurt and angry. But the house we live in now is within 15 minutes of our clients and my doctors. And we live within a few miles of all the health food stores where I do a lot of my food shopping. We have a much smaller yard and home to take care of. This has taken a huge amount of stress off my husband, who had to drive at least an hour to get home from work every day, to take me to the doctor, and to make a special trip out here to get the food I need from the health food store. If I have an emergency at home, he can get to me in minutes, and he's been getting home earlier each evening.

There have been some other opportunities in the area of our business that have opened up because of our move, although we're still waiting to see how God works this out. And although I still don't have the answers about why we don't seem to have a support system in our lives to help out with the heavy burden my health puts on our lives, I am hopeful that the Lord will give us His divine revelation on practical ways we can lessen that burden on my husband's life. God has blessed me with the opportunity to work with a Christian life coach, and she gave me a great word picture to give me hope in this area. She explained that people often say, "that's the last straw," in referring to that circumstance that causes someone to say like Popeye, "That's all I can stands; I can't stands no more!" But what if we could remove things, one straw at a time - one burden at a time? We don't have to solve all our problems with some big epiphany all at once. Sometimes it's just one little solution at a time. And that sounds do-able to me.

So, although I didn't find a big red button to push, I'm starting to understand that quiet voice that keeps telling me, "Give it to Me; let Me carry that weight for you. Just rest in My loving arms and trust." His yoke is easy, and His burden is light.

Waiting

John Waller - While I'm Waiting (Official Music Video) from Provident Label Group on Vimeo.

Waiting is never easy. I remember how difficult it was to wait when my husband and I were dating. For 18 months of our four-year courtship we lived apart and had to rely on telephone calls and letters, not emails, to communicate with each other. We literally wrote letters almost every single day and spoke on the phone a few times every week. In the days before cell phones and unlimited long distance plans, it got very expensive to have lengthy phone coversations, and my husband would easily pay $200-$300 each month in phone bills. Waiting for the mail to come or for the day of our next scheduled phone call to finally arrive would seem excrutiating.

We didn't see each other very often during those 18 months, so a face-to-face meeting was a very precious experience to us. My husband had a client that worked for an airline, and that client would sell him "buddy passes" which allowed airline employees and their friends and family to fly stand-by on flights for a small fraction of the cost of an airline ticket. When he told me that he had gotten a pass, we would count down the days, hours, and minutes until the day came when we could be together. That time of waiting would seem to drag on forever, but we waited with eager anticipation for the moment we would be reunited.

Although the wait was difficult, our love and faith in each other kept us going during those long days apart. People would often make remarks to us about how long-distance relationships rarely work out, how couples drift apart when they don't spend time together regularly, and how our hearts would stray as we met other attractive people who could be more present in our lives. But what these naysayers didn't realize was that our relationship had already been tested in ways many people don't experience even after years of marriage. We had faith in the love, loyalty, and commitment that had been forged through life's difficult challenges, and we knew that in the end, the wait would be worth it.

I've been on a quest for over 16 years to discover the cause of numerous health issues that have grown exponentially in both severity and frequency. I have been to more doctors and hospitals, had more tests, procedures, and surgeries, and done more research on medical issues than I could ever count. Since the fall of 2007, my search became much more intense and desperate as my health condition swiftly declined, and I began to pray for God's wisdom and for Him to show me "great and mighty things that [I] do not know (Jeremiah 33.3)." And I believe that my prayers have been rewarded with God's leading toward a completely different philosophy in treatment and diagnosis as it relates to my Hashimoto's thyroid disease. I was even able to find a doctor in my area who specializes in this treatment and is a provider in my health insurance network. However, the first available appointment is not until June 10th. When you've been ill for so long and you feel you're on the cusp of a major breakthrough, a month is a LONG time to wait! And I first became really irritated that I came this far and was now forced to wait some more. Then God spoke to me in my heart and said, "I've been with you and have brought you this far; can you not trust my timing? I know how long the wait has been because I've waited with you. Just wait on Me, and continue to worship Me while you wait.

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning." -Psalm 130:5,6